Don't Jinx Yourself!

     So I have four pets.  Two cats and two dogs.  When I leave my dogs at home I usually close the doors to the bedrooms so they don't go and do their business on the carpets (the living room area has hardwood floors).  But lately they have been really good and haven't had any accidents so when I went to work this morning I was like I'm going to leave the door open.  Plus the litter box is in the bedroom so that way the cats can access it.

 I go home for lunch today and I bring my friend from work with me and I had commented to her on how great the dogs had been lately and they haven't been having any accidents on the carpet so I decided to leave the bedroom door open.  I was like I hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that!  So we get to my place I look around to check and it is completely clean and I tell my dogs how good they are. 

     Well when I left I closed the door this time and I left one of my cats out in the living room with the dogs.  When I got home I started walking around and I knew I could smell shit.  I was like great..  So I start looking around to see where the accident was and I find two lovely piles of diarrhea.  I'm pretty sure it was from the cat.  So of course I'm out of latex gloves so I tie Safeway plastic bags around my hands and start cleaning (while trying not to gag, I may have gagged a little).  I clean it, get rid of it and move on.

    I think proceed to feed the pets, feed myself and relax a little before my friend comes to pick me up.  Usually I'm home on week nights but I was going to meet up with someone tonight.  So I got ready put on my outfit and had some time left over.  I decided to pick up the pile of clothes and stuff in my closet and clean a little while I waited for her.  Well I go to pick up my pants when I feel something on my hand, I look and there is a bunch of puke on my pants.  The puke then runs down the shirt I'm wearing and onto my pants.  So I have to change, clean all of the puke that was on my clothes (oh and some even got on one of my boots and on the walls).  Of course when I'm in the middle of cleaning the door bell rings and my friend is there.  So I'm frantically trying to clean, change and handle my crazy dogs.  What a disaster!  

    Anyway so I get myself together, go out for a little and I come home.  My friend calls me and I'm chatting with her for a bit and I'm walking out of the rooms and all of a sudden I scream because there was a freaking spider hanging from the ceiling and I almost ran into it!  At this point I'm freaked out because spiders terrify me but also I feel bad when I kill them so usually I just show them to my cat and he will attack them and eat them.  The only problem is the damn spider was on the ceiling and I didn't want to knock him down in fear of him falling on me.  So I sit there patiently and watch him on the ceiling.  He starts migrating toward the living room and then begins lowering himself down toward the coffee table.  Once he was close to the table I picked up my cat and showed him the spider.  Immediately he was on the prowl , messed with the spider for a bit and then bam!  Dinner time!  The spider was gone!  Thanks kitty for protecting your mommy!  :)

     So not the most fun afternoon, I think I need a drink...  

But daddy, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

     I really need too look for a new job.  It's not just that I'm bored with my current one but I'm going nowhere with it.  I'm not moving up the ladder, I'm not learning anything new, at this point all I'm doing is wasting my time and I don't really know what to do about it.  The next time I get a job I really want it to be a good one, one that I want to stay at for the next 10 years.  A place where I can grow, move up the ladder, make good money.  And the thing is while I am completely aware of my time being wasted my father loves to remind me that I'm wasting my time every time I talk to him.

     Now I don't want you to think he's a mean or bad person.  It's actually quite the opposite.  I have one of the most loving and supportive dads out there.  All he wants to do is push me to my fullest potential and he knows that where I'm at now is not a good place for me career wise.  Could he be pushing me so much because he wants his daughter to make something of herself?  Yes.  Could he be pushing me so much because over the 4 years I was in college he spent over $100,000 on my tuition and living expenses.  I'm sure that's a big fat YES.  He has not asked me to pay back one cent of the education he has paid for.  I owe him something for that, I owe him a daughter with an amazing career.  So I can totally  see where he's coming from.  If I had spent that much on my kid I would hope they would be a surgeon or something by now.  

     I'm just kind of tired of being pushed to do something I'm not necessarily interested in.  I know I need things to change and I am working on it, slowly but surely I am trying to find my right path.  But it's hard to do when you have no idea what you want to be when you grow up!  I'm 25 years old though when will I figure it out??  Hopefully soon.  Honestly my goal is to have a new badass job by the new year.  That gives me a little over 2 months to figure it out.  Maybe I'll hit the internet tonight and start searching.  I can't work in that cube anymore, slowly rotting away (is that a little to intense?  lol)  

   I wish a job would just fall into my lap, lol.

stay tuned....

Zimbio responded!

And what did they say??!!!

FASHION INTERN POSITIONS HAVE BEEN FILLED.  DAMN!!  Well I didn't expect to get a job there but I thought I'd put it out there and try.  But they did say they would keep my resume on file in case any openings come up, so you never know!  Gotta keep trying!  For now I'm stuck working at the financial company.. boooo...

Michael from The Office

I swear my manager is like Michael from The Office.  He says the weirdest most random things, a lot of times things that are a red flag and he is just a strange man.  It keeps our office entertaining though and I swear we never know what is going to happen next. 

Example #1  One day there were window washers outside of our window (we're on the 5th floor) he comes near my cube and stands there and stares at them for a bit.  Out loud he says "I know someone wants to go and flash them."  There is a long silence and I hate those awkward silences so I just fill in the space and say "Why don't you do it?"  He just gets red laughs and walks away.  Helllooo you don't say things like that when you have an office full of female workers!  I'm not really bothered by the comments I find them humorous but one day when there is a woman or anyone for that matter around that does not find his things funny he could be in big trouble!

Here is my most recent strange encounter.  I'm in one of my co workers offices trying to figure some work stuff out with her.  I have on this long pearl necklace.  He comes in and is like "Ooo nice beads can I touch them?" and then he asks if I will grab them and hand them to him because he doesn't want to just grab my you know what so I like hold out the pearls as far as I can and he looks at them and I guess admires them?  I'm not really sure?   And then he goes into how normally he would just grab beads and then goes into something about babies liking to grab things, it was just so weird and awkward I can't even explain it.  

Another thing that is kind of weird that we notice is that he notices a lot of things on women about beauty and fashion.  He'll notice intricate details of clothing, notice brands of handbags, notice if someone is wearing eye liner one day when they usually don't.  Is this a sign of being fascinated with women or of being gay?  I'm not sure but we are starting to think it's the latter.  

Anyway this guy is nuts, but it keeps us entertained!

Please don't make me go back!!!

I cannot even imagine how I'm going to feel going back to work tomorrow I am soooo dreading it!!!  Only two good reasons to go back a) to hang with my awesome co workers and b) to wear some of the cute new clothes I bought while on vacay.  The whole actually working part is going to suck.  Gosh my job is boring.  

OMG my vacay is almost over!!

Wow did a week really go by already??  So sad I have to be stuck in my cube tomorrow but hey at least I got some time away!  I will write more about the trip later and some highlights but of course I have an interesting/weird thing that happened to me while I was away at work.

So I have some company visiting from out of state and we decided to go shopping in The City.  We went to Macy's and ate downstairs in their food court.  When I was sitting there waiting for everyone to order I could see this lady walking by and I could immediately tell she was a little nuts.  She walked kinda funny was talking to herself etc.  Not an unusual site in a city so I just kind of ignored her.  I went to the bathroom before getting my food.  I go into the stall and all of a sudden I hear someone get in next to me.  I hear the crazy lady just talkin away to herself saying who knows what and I'm like omg I need to hurry and get out of here.  I get out to wash my hands and realize I'm the only freakin person in the bathroom with her!  Ugh!  So she gets out and washes her hands next to me and is going crazy yelling things so I quickly was my hands and get out of there.

I got a really good salad from Boudin.  It's funny the way I eat salads, I know this is kind of weird but I don't really care for lettuce that much.  When I eat my salad I eat the lettuce but with whatever is on the salad, chicken, walnuts etc.  Once the goodies are gone I stop and am usually left with a big plate of lettuce.  So we're getting ready to leave and we start packing up our stuff and I get ready to go throw the rest of my food away when I hear.  "Hey lady!  Hey lady!  Can I have your salad??"  I glance over and it's the crazy lady yelling and asking for my leftover food.  I tried ignoring her ( I know I should have just given her the food right away but I panicked) but she just kept yelling and yelling and I'm like "Should I give her my salad?"  My mom goes "yeah give it to her!"  So I walked over and handed her the plate of lettuce, she thanked me and I walked away, looked back and she was eating away.  Next time I will just give away my food right away, at least she wasn't asking for money!

One full week of vacation!

It's Monday morning and usually I'd be on my way into the office, probably not in a very good mood since it's Monday but not this week!  I have one full week off for vacation and I can't tell you how excited I am to get away from that place!  Stay tuned, I'll post any adventures I have from my week off...

Why do things like this happen to me?

So this is totally random but I swear the weirdest most random things happen to me sometimes.  So today I went to my Zumba class at the gym but this week our usual classroom is closed due to some remodeling so we've had to had class in this multipurpose room that looks like it's used for preschool or day care (lots of kids pics, and toys around).  So anyway I go and take my place and we start doing the routines.  I keep feeling something under my shoe and kind of look down here and there to see what it is but can't really focus on that because I have to watch the instructor do her routine.  Anyway it's kinda slidey whenever I step on it so I'm dancing and thinking wtf is under my shoe did I step on a rock?  So finally the song stops and I look down to see what it is I'm stepping on and I look and it looks like pretzel crumbs or something.  I can't really move to a new spot because the class is full so I'm stuck with this crap on the floor and not only do I have to keep up with the instructor I have to focus on not falling.  All I could do was laugh to myself and think out of all of the space in this entire room I just HAD to stand right where the crumbs are.  UGH.  So for the first couple routines I kept stepping on the stuff but then after a while I kind of kicked it out of the way so it wasn't a little pile of crumbs under my feet.  Next time I'm checking the floor before I place myself. 

Salary

     So at my work I am a salary employee.  Meaning it doesn't matter if I work 8 hours of overtime, or get off an hour early on Friday I will still get the same pay twice a month when I get my check.  Now this actually isn't half bad because you can have certain things like a) long lunches and b) early weekends.  Here is what gets me though about being a salary employee.  So if we are completely swamped with work they expect us to be available to stay late or come in early in order to catch up.  I've done it my fair share of times, honestly it hasn't been that many times so when it happens I don't complain (very much).  Anyway Friday rolls around and after lunch our work load is soooo slow.  So since we are on "salary" why not let us go home since we don't have much work and people will be there to work Saturday.  But noooooo of course not.  Our manager was nice enough to let the employees leave half an hour early.  I guess that's ok...  But c'mon at least give us an hour next time.  

    If we are slow working we don't have much to pass the time either.  Now that they've practically blocked the entire internet we can't even log on to check out the latest celebrity news.  I mean lets put it this way we were so bored that when I walked into my friends cube she was looking at her calculator laughing to herself.  She shows me the calculator and while laughing says "It says boobs."  I was cracking up thinking of the things we have to do to entertain ourselves.  I guess that's just the office life.  It's the little things that amuse you.  

   I just started watching The Office today.  I'm diving into the first season and let me tell you I am constantly laughing throughout this show.  It is so effing hilarious and the best part is that Steve Carrell's weirdness totally reminds me of our manager,  he is such a strange man I don't know what to think about him.  But we've pretty much adapted to his strangeness and it's almost become the norm to all of us.  

I'm on vacay all week next week, LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!

Once again FML!

     So as I mentioned below I totally feel like I should be doing some kind of work in the fashion or entertainment industry.  My friend and I both are kicking ourselves in the asses now for not studying fashion because we both love it so much.  This week I've been super intrigued by all of the pictures coming out from fashion week and sad that I cannot be there to at least experience one fashion show.  Oh well maybe someday..  I've been to SF Fashion week one time and it was fantastic.  Of course there were no big names at that fashion show but it was fun anyway and my goal is to one day attend NY Fashion week and then the ultimate one Paris Fashion Week.  

    I log onto my Facebook after work today and see a former co worker of mine from Nordstrom post pics from the Phillip Lim Spring 2010 Fashion Show on her Facebook.  So I'm thinking bitch!!!  She got to go to this???  So I start diving in a little deeper, flipping through the album and I see behind the scenes stuff.  Hmmm..  it almost looks like she works in the fashion industry in NYC..  Keep digging, reading comments.. OMFG SHE WORKS FOR PHILLIP LIM IN NYC!!!  At this point I am raging with envy and jealousy and also impressed that she had gone so far from being a salesgirl at the local Nordstrom.  WOW!  How did she do it??  Well if I knew I wouldn't be working at a boring financial company would I?

    Do you realize who Phillip Lim is and who wears his designs??  I'll give you a quick example.  Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl wears gorgeous Phillip Lim dresses, Leighton Meester plays Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl, Leighton Meester was at the Phillip Lim fashion show, the girl posting the album on Facebook has her own pictures, pictures SHE took of Leighton Meester at the Phillip Lim fashion show!!!!!   ughhhhhhh!!!!!  Who else was there and wears Phillip Lim dresses??  Lauren Conrad!!  LOVE HER!!

FML.

PS I've attached pictures of Lauren Conrad in a gorgeous Phillip Lim dress.

What the hell are we waiting for??

     As I was working on my resume and letter to Zimbio last night I was really proud of myself for actually working on it.  I've been wanting to fix my resume and send it out for months but I kept putting it off.  I always had the lamest excuses to stop myself too.  Then as I was sitting there last night I thought "What the hell am I still doing there?"  Seriously!  Every day my co workers and I complain about where we work, how it's boring, the company is cheap etc.  If we really dislike our jobs that much and are not challenged by it and have dreams that we want to achieve then why are we still there?

     That in itself was motivation for me to get off of my lazy ass and start finding what I really want to do.  We sit there every day in our cubicles (or wherever you may work) wasting the days away.  You're 25, before you know it you'll be 40 and still there because you did not have the motivation to move on.  Working at that crappy job while finding the perfect job is fine.  But if you are just sitting there wasting the days away and not trying to find something that you want what is the point of complaining?  

    So from this day on I'm going to look for a job that I really want and not feel bad about complaining.  I'm working on my exit strategy so why not complain while I'm still there?  

   If there is something out there you truly want to do go for it, what is stopping you?  If all it is is fear, then get over it, grow a pair and put yourself out there!  

I'm working on it.. hopefully soon my post will be "NEW JOB!"

:)

     

Well there is no turning back now!

So I finished updating my resume, wrote a letter and submitted it to Zimbio! I really doubt that I will hear back from them, but the fact that I put myself out there and at least tried makes me feel content inside. How awesome would it be to get a job there?? If not I have other ideas of course! I need to get out of my damn cubicle life!!

Ok time for bed it's super late and I'm super tired!

Is it better to be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?

     I come from a small town in Washington.  The population is only about 9,000.  I loved where I grew up.  The people, the town my childhood home was amazing.  At times I admit it wasn't the most exciting place in the world but when I look back on my childhood and my life back in that small town I can't help but smile and be comforted by all of the warm memories.  We lived on the most amazing property right next to the ocean.  A big house sitting atop 11 acres with a lake and another smaller one that had a little island in the middle.  My parents eventually had a bridge put in so we could cross to the little island and spend our days.  Sometimes I miss that kind of life.  Not a care in the world.  Just you, friends, family and nature.  

     Eventually though I had to leave the comforts of that small town and venture off to bigger and better things in order to have a successful future.  That's when I headed off to the big city to complete my undergrad education and eventually my path would lead me to where I am now in California.  

     I love the California life it's great!  Sunshine, endless things to do, fun people.  But sometimes I can't help but think this world is exhausting and I think back to the days when I grew up in the country and what I would do for one of those summer nights when we would build a bonfire and lay out blankets and my friends and I would stare up at the stars watching satellites go by and shooting stars appear from time to time.  It's hard to realize what you really want in life and I feel like in order to be completely satisfied you need to have a mixture of everything.  Sometimes I can picture myself living in a trendy neighborhood in a big city like NYC.  Having a cute little apartment and endless things to do.  Other times I yearn to go back to that house in the country where I had all of the privacy and space in the world.  I could go outside into the woods by my house and be completely alone if I wanted to.  Something I don't have here.  Anywhere I walk out of in my apartment now there is going to be a person passing by, a car driving by.  

     I don't feel like I could truly go back to a small town life though.  Although it is sometimes comforting and nice being a big fish in a small pond it gives you limited opportunities.  It's nice when everyone knows you, and you know everyone.  You are somebody, not just a stranger passing by.  But to go back to a small town like that really does not challenge you.  You fall into comfort.  You settle.  I don't want to settle.  There are only so many options for you and you settle for what's comfortable.  But who am I to judge?  Some people are happy that way.  I don't think I would be though.  As much as I sometimes wish to be back at my house in the country I don't think I would be truly satisfied with myself settling for life back in that small town.  I will sit there and wonder what could I have been?  What could I have done?

     For right now I think the best option is to be a small fish in a big pond.  You have to put yourself out there and try to be as successful as possible, as uncomfortable as that maybe be sometimes.  But how will you know how much potential you have if you don't get out there and try it?  And maybe one day you will become a big fish in a big pond.  Wouldn't that be something?  Then you could go back to your small town during your class reunion and walk in there with pride knowing how much you've accomplished since leaving.  One can only hope.  

     I've currently been at my job for a little over two years now and I think it's almost becoming like my small town.  Comfortable and hard to let go.  It's time though.  We sit there and talk about how much we don't enjoy our jobs.  Then why are we still there?  Why aren't we out there searching for the right path?  Because we're comfortable.  It's time for me to get out of my comfort zone and go to the next chapter.  It's time to change my life and start my career.  Hopefully I will figure it out soon, but damn it sure is tough! 

I think I may have realized what I should be doing as a career!

I'm 25 and the clock is ticking.  I'm really starting to frustrate myself because I have no idea where I want to go career wise in life.  The past few days I've been pretty stressed just thinking about what it is that I should be doing, what is it that I'm passionate about?  

I've been thinking and thinking and the things that I like the most are fashion and celebrity gossip.  I LOVE clothes, I love buying them, I love looking at them I love helping my friends pick out outfits.  I love celebrities, I love the drama, the scandals and I love seeing their ever changing looks.  I NEED to be involved in the celebrity/fashion world.  This is what I like, that is where I belong.  I don't know how I'm going to get into this but I want to figure out how.  I do not live near LA or New York so in my head a career in this industry seems impossible.  I decided today to get on craigslist and go to the job postings and just type in "fashion" to see what comes up.  Usually it's sales jobs (done that in the past, something I do not wish to repeat), but I wanted to look and see if maybe something comes up.

So I type in "fashion" and hit search.  Here pops up information about a fashion magazine called Zimbio.  This is an online fashion magazine based in San Carlos, super close to me!  I could not believe my eyes as I was reading this.  A fashion magazine within 15 minutes of where I live??  Are you serious??  I got onto their website and it is absolutely amazing and stunning.  A mix of celebrity and fashion, everything I love right there before my eyes!  I directed myself to the job page and it asks to send them an email stating why you would be good to work for their company.  I have to write to them.  I'm not expecting anything to come from it but I want to at least try and see what happens.  I could not imagine if I could get into a job there what a blessing it would be at such a confusing time in my life.  Cross your fingers for me, you never know, it doesn't hurt to try!  If nothing comes from it then at least I tried and I will go back to my cube and think of other ways out...

The Neverending Cold

Is it just me or is someone always sick in an office?  You constantly hear coughing, sneezing, complaining.  You try your hardest to not get whatever is going around.  Airborne, Theraflu, cough drops.  But as much as you try it is going to migrate throughout the office and hit you!  It doesn't help that you are sitting in an open room where the air is circulating all day throughout the office and you are breathing in all of those germs that people are releasing into the air.  

If it starts at a cube far from you, you fear that soon you will be hit.  You hear the person furthest from you coughing, or saying their throat is hurt.  They call in sick but come back and of course still have some of their symptoms.  Soon after their neighbor comes to work completely hit with the sickness feeling like crap, dragging herself into work.  Then it begins to migrate and slowly people in cubes closer to you are starting to hack and cough.  Then bam!  You wake up one morning and your throat is hurting, you feel light headed and the last thing you want to do is go to work.  

That was me today.  I finally am starting to get what is going around!  All I can do is pray that it is just a sore throat and it won't develop into more.  You may ask if we are all sick why not just use a sick day and call in?  Well if our company offered a decent amount of sick time that may be an option.  Unfortunately we are only allowed 5 sick days per year.  I swear most of my friends that work in corporate offices get 10 per year.  The other catch is if we don't use all 5 days in the year once the next calendar year starts we lose whatever days we didn't use previously and start all over again.  

As of right now I have one sick day left.  I have to treat that baby like gold and really use it for something good.  While my first option would be to use it for a long weekend (can you say Vegas??).  I'm thinking with the winter coming up I should probably save it in case I really do get the flu or a bad cold.  

The best part about this use it or lose it sick day thing is that my manager gets mad that all of a sudden in December people are calling in sick like crazy.  Why get mad about it?  We have to use them or lose them, and who the heck wants to lose a day off??  Instead of getting mad about it maybe he should work on changing the policy so our sick days carry over, but for now if that is the policy don't bitch about it, deal with it.  I hate people that complain but don't work on changing anything.  

For now I will drag my sick ass to work, suck it up and save my last precious sick day.  We will have a neverending cold going on in the office because I'm sure most people think the way I do...

What if I don't have a dream job?

Is that bad?  Like I seriously don't think I have a dream job..  I see all of these people out there anxious to get on with their careers but I can't really find a career that I'm dying to do.  I'm already 25 and I feel like I'm wasting time but I also don't want to jump into something I'm unsure of!  So when will I realize what career path is right for me??  The clock is ticking and I'm getting old!!

So I guess if you asked me if I could have ANY job in the world what would it be I could answer it.  I'd be content with being involved in the Hollywood scene.  Socialite, acting, singing all of the above.  Now THAT's a job!  I would love to be royalty because all you have to do is wear nice clothes, jewels, wave to people and visit the less fortunate here and there.  Like how cool would that be?  So I guess maybe that would be my dream job but I mean I don't realistically have a dream job and that makes me sad..  

I sometimes feel like I wasn't meant to work..  I don't like working, I think it's boring and seriously the only reason why we do it is for money.  If I was working in my cube and making a 6 figure income I don't think I would complain so much.  But I'm definitely not making anything nearly close to that so the fact that my job sucks and the pay sucks just makes me even more bitter about the work environment.  

Ever since I graduated college in 2006 I haven't had the best luck with jobs and I think that may be a big reason for me hating work so much.  I worked as a receptionist for an attorney's office for about 5 months before I quit.  I just couldn't take it anymore!  It was a small office, I loved pretty much everyone I worked with but the boss was SO mean.  I know bosses aren't supposed to be your best friend but I mean this guy was rude and would yell at his employees.  He made me so nervous I hated it when he was around!  It was so bad that I would call my mom every morning before work and cry before going in because I didn't want to go so bad.  Finally one day I was at lunch and I called my good friend to tell him how much I hated my job and how my parents said they would help me out if I wanted to quit.  So he convinced me.  "Just quit.  If you don't like it quit.  What are you waiting for."  I went back and by the time I was ready to leave I walked into my managers office and gave him my two weeks notice.  He was upset.  Who knows if it was because he liked the way I worked or because he thought I was attractive (more stories about that sleaze ball to come.)   But anyway I didn't back down.  I hated it there and wanted out.  When I walked out of those doors the last day I felt so liberated.  I didn't even stay the full day I left by noon.

So I took a few months off before diving back into the work scene.  I finally began working with a few temp agencies and was soon off at interviews for various companies.  I finally get an interview and land a job.  This is a temp to perm position.  The lady who interviewed me was totally excited about me starting and I was excited about starting!  This was a wealth management company and their clients were super super rich.  I was the receptionist so I would greet clients when they came in.  I even saw the creator of YouTube Chad Hurley come in there one time so that was pretty exciting!  Anyway I got acquainted with another lady that got hired through the temp agency there around the same time as me so I would lunch with her.  The job was super boring of course hardly anyone ever came in and hardly any calls came in.  But I heard there was room for growth there and once you moved up the pay was good so I was happy to stay there.  The owner of the company was even part owner of the San Jose Sharks so there was all kinds of neat perks like tickets to concerts and events at the HP Pavillion.  Not just seats but box tickets so we were up there with a full kitchen, drinks and catered food.  I got to enjoy a few events and even a Christina Aguilera concert!  It was pretty fun I have to admit.  Well one day I am working and the lady I was acquainted with came to say goodbye to me.  I was so caught off guard but they had decided to let her go.  They had some odd excuse and said they no longer needed her so that was that.  A couple days go by and I get a call from my temp agency saying that the company has decided to let me go.  They had the WEIRDEST excuses!  Something about how the conference room wasn't clean at times (I cleaned it every time someone left) and how calls got transferred to the wrong people.  Helllooooo I was new and was doing the best a could and hardly any calls went through anyway so how bad had it been?  I was pretty upset about it.  I called the lady I had become friends with to tell her.  We had figured out that what happened was they hired a bunch of us from the temp agency during tax season (their busy time of year) and then a good amount of us were "no longer needed" after it was over.  I think within that week about 3 or 4 of us were let go.  So at least I know it wasn't just me!!  But yeah that hit me pretty hard.  I got over it pretty quick though and did a ton of traveling after that.  

When I got back from my traveling I decided to settle down and join the work force again.  That's when this "fabulous" job opportunity came up.  I have to admit, I was desperate when I took the job.  But it was so close to home and the pay was decent at the time I decided to take it.  I actually did like it at first, the people were all super nice and most of them were around my age.  But obviously I have grown out of the honeymoon stage and I'm ready to get the hell out of there!  

Anyway I think with all of these bad job experiences it is really turning me off of wanting to work and it really frustrates me!  I don't want to be stuck doing a sucky job the rest of my life but at the same time I don't know what to do with my life!  It's a very tough situation and I hope I figure it out soon!!

FML, FML, FML!

YAY!!  LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS FINALLY HERE!!  The good: NO WORK UNTIL TUESDAY.  The bad:  I HAVE NO PLANS YET, WTF?!

So before I escape from all thoughts related to work I just had to share a story about a recent thing that happened.  It's one of the funny/FML moments, like I don't know whether to be grossed out, disturbed, or laugh about it..  

Anyway I need to backtrack a few months ago when the first "encounter" happened.  It's 5pm (probably more like 4:52pm) and I'm waiting for the elevator anxious to get home.  The doors open I get in there is an older middle aged looking guy in there.  The last thing I want to do when I'm trying to get out of there is have small talk in the elevator but of course you can't always control what happens.  Anyway he starts chatting with me telling me how I look so much like this lady he works with, but says of course she is much older than you.  So I just kind of laugh at him and he asks me my name and I tell him.  So whatever he leaves I leaves.  

Every now and then I would see him around I'd say hi just to be friendly.  Well this week rolls around and I'm leaving on Tuesday and I get to the lobby and start leaving and he is standing there too.  So he walks out with me towards the parking lot and makes small talk about my company (he works for another company in the building).  The last thing I want to do is explain the program to someone when I'm leaving work but he asked me about it so there I went telling him about the program.  So towards the end he's all "well it's nice talking to you I always see you around what's your name?"  So I tell him, he shakes my hand tells me his name and we leave.  

Today (Friday) I take a break with my two friends and we are heading back into the building after a nice chat outside.  They both know about him and the story.  As we are walking toward the door I see him coming outside and all I can think is "Fuck."  My coworker was mumbling something to me but I didn't hear what he said (he didn't know that the guy coming toward us was "THAT" guy).  We open the door hey says my name but a shorter version of it (Ummm hellllooooo freak I don't know you, you don't have the right to call me nick names) and he asked me how I'm doing  a couple times because I didn't answer him the first time (oops).  He exits the building and we go inside to wait for the elevator at this point I'm laughing hysterically and I'm also totally grossed out!  Like the way he looked at me was soooo creeeeepyyyy he had like his head down and was looking at me like above his glasses (not sure how to describe it).  It was just disturbing and right now all I have in my head is that image!!  Oh by the way my coworker was saying "It looks like he is undressing you with his eyes" as we were walking in.  He didn't even know that was THE guy!!  So he totally gave off a creep vibe and I definitely do not ever want to see him again!  

So yeah that was my week, FML!!!  I'm not even asking for anything like that I'm just trying to mind my own business, it's just so irritating!  And he's old and that's gross and never in a million years!!  I hate nasty old guys that work in offices it just annoys the hell out of me, but unfortunately most of us women have dealt with them!  

Anyway it's time to enjoy my weekend and forget about work for a few days, YAYYYYYY!!!!  Soooo excited!  If I do anything fun I'll write about it for now it's just me and the pets relaxing!

So.. What do you do for a living?

So I'm trying not to mention any names of people or the company I work for in my blog because you never know who might stumble upon it and I'd like to keep it anonymous just in case.  Our company is crazy, I heard that if they find your resume posted somewhere looking for a new job they will call you in to talk about why you want to leave.  So who knows what else they are searching for out there...  

I also want to clarify something..  I don't think ALL office positions suck, I just think our company does, haha.  I mean if I were working for a badass company that I really believed in and did good things I would probably be more passionate about the office.  But ours isn't that meaningful to me..  To be honest I hate the question "So what do you do for a living?" because I'm embarrassed to answer!  It's not a quick straight to the point like "I'm a teacher" "I'm a CEO" "I work at a day care" it's so complex because when you tell someone "I'm an underwriter" it usually leads to many questions and then you have to go into what it is your company does and the role you play as an underwriter.  I try to make it quick by keeping it simple and ending it with a joke so we can move on.  But it usually comes out wrong and I just look like a douche that hates my job.  For example yesterday I'm at the gym waiting for my workout class.  I arrived a little early and the instructor was sitting there and started talking to me.  So she has to ask where I work of course.  So I say "Oh I work for a Financial company" (I usually say financial company to keep it simple and straight to the point).  But it never ends there, I always have to keep going because I get nervous and feel like I am going to have to get into what our company does and what I do so I sarcastically say "You know one of those fun office jobs."  She laughs, and then I respond "It's nice to come to the gym because I just sit at my desk getting fat."  Ok there it goes, the foot in my mouth..  Why couldn't I just stop at financial company?

I'm going to try and explain what it is the company I work at does.  After I briefly explain it here I never want to explain it again in this blog.  I just thought it would help provide a feel for the company and the kind of "exciting" work we do every day.  Basically what we do is help people get out of debt.  I know what sounds so bad about that right?  Well as I've been there for a couple years now I come to realize that I don't really fully believe in what we do.  What we are doing are screwing over the credit card companies so they don't get back the full amount that us douche bags decided to go spend.  So basically you enter your credit card debt into our program, stop paying your creditors and after a couple years have gone by and you've saved enough money we take that money and negotiate the debt with the creditors.  So instead of paying the full amount back you are paying on average about 40% back.  I know I know it sounds like a sweet deal right?  Especially to those of us out there with credit card debt.  But...  I feel like we should take full responsibility for what we spend.  We were dumb enough to rack up those bills now pay the damn cards back.  I am not a complete heartless bitch though.  I can understand things in life happen that can set you back.  Job losses, death in the family, sickness etc.  For those circumstances I really do feel like helping someone is the right thing to do.  But the thing is it is not JUST those people that we are helping we help any douche out there.  They "overspent" "interest rates when up"  "can't keep up with payments."  Shoot, I overspend every day and you don't see me joining the program!  So I feel like helping the people that need it is awesome and there should be programs for that, but helping anyone that comes through so we can make an extra buck is not fair to the credit card companies (of course we charge fees so our company is getting in on this too.)  

So yeah..  that's what I do.  I work for a debt settlement company and I review the files that come in to see if they can be accepted into our program.  It's to the point where I'm not sure why our company needs underwriter's anymore because they are letting us take anything and anyone into the program.

One last thing that amuses me about the company and where I work is that there are quite a few people that work at the company and help people get out of debt when they themselves have joined the program!!  What kind of example is that??  

I feel like by the time I'm done at this job I myself may be in debt as well.  Why do you ask?  Well we used to be able to do anything online.. chat, facebook, check out celebrity news...  Well now they have cut us off of everything and pretty much the only thing left for us to do is online shop!  So when we are bored what do we do?  We shop of course!  We kind of found a way around the whole celebrity news thing..  So when we click on links anything tied to "entertainment" is blocked.  So what we have to do is going to a major news site (such as MSNBC) and on there they have celebrity news so we do still get some updated info, but it's nothing like Pop Sugar or E!  

Also let me clarify I am not some lazy worker that surfs the web all day.  I'm actually a really good worker, I do a good amount of files per day and I always have my work done.  I just need something to relax my brain sometimes!

I'm eventually going to write about the characters we have nicknamed at the office...  Will get to it soon hopefully!!

Ta-ta!!

PS THREE DAY WEEKEND THIS WEEKEND, YESSSSSSSSS!!!!

About me in a nutshell

I'm a 25 year old girl living in California with my boyfriend.  We live in the bay area in a way overpriced apartment but what do you expect it's the bay area?  We are not originally from here but are enjoying every minute of this beautiful California weather.  I graduated college about 3 years ago and what have I accomplished career wise since then?  Not much.  I need that to change.  I've been at my current job a little over two years now.  I work at a financial company, I hate explaining what it is that we do so I'm not going to do that today.  It's sad really how much I dislike my job.  It wasn't always this way and it's not THAT bad, but it really isn't that great.  Do you really want to sit in a box working at hours a day?  I will tell you two things I have gained from this job.  1.  Some great friends 2. About 20 lbs, I swear I was not this heavy when I started!!  Basically my job is repetitive and boring and I'm ready to get out.  What's holding me back you might ask?  The fact that I have no idea what I want to do career wise.  Is that weird at 25?  Maybe??  I'm so envious of people out there that have these unique fun jobs.  I understand that jobs aren't always fun but I want to do something more meaningful or something I at least enjoy.  Right now my job is just to go there and make money so I can pay the bills and enjoy leisure activities.  I do not see myself getting a badass high paying position at this company because a) I'm not really interested in staying there for very long so what's the point and b) the pay at this place is terrible!!  I'm living in a $2400 a month apartment and my total take home paycheck for the month is almost that amount I swear!  How do I afford it you might ask?  I have a man with a badass job so we can afford some finer things in life.  I know I know it's terrible to rely on a man, especially when we're not married.. But.. I can't help it I feel like men are here to take care of us and spoil us..  and sometimes I think I may be a little too spoiled but we make it work somehow, even though it can lead to him getting mad at me at times.  

I hope I don't sound like a total life hating Debbie Downer because I'm not like that at all.  I'm actually a very optimistic person with a great attitude.  I LOVE life outside of my cube.  I love fashion, I love being a girl, I love dancing and I love traveling.  So by working I am able to maintain the lifestyle I love.  I just wish my work time was a little more rewarding financially and mentally.  

So you might ask why I don't just find another job for a change?   Well the next time I get a job I want to make sure it's a job I WANT to do.  I want it to be a move in the right direction, not just something I'm going to take just because.  So for now I'm working in the cube, taking my time figuring out and searching for the right job for me.  Please happen soon!!!  :) 

There is one thing that gets me through the day at work, that is my P.I.C.  My cube neighbor who is just like me with the same attitude toward this job.  We take a couple breaks throughout the day to get out of the cubes and get some air and sunshine.  Bitch about our weird coworkers and whatever else may come up.  I am thankful to have found such a great friend at work that can share the pain I feel.  So for now we are stuck there until we find the perfect job, and while I'm stuck in my cube you will all get a chance to see me bitch about the excitement of it all.  I may even tell you about the characters that we work with later on because let me tell you we have a whole load of them!

Until next time....

Just a place for me to write!

I've been wanting to start a blog for a while, just a place for me to share stories and thoughts.  I titled my blog "My Life in a Cube" because that is what I do for a living.  I work in a cube.  This is not the most desirable job on earth, but it pays the bills for now.  Hopefully I won't be one of those 50 year old people still working in a cube making way too little money.  Follow my adventures as I attempt to find a more meaningful job in life and try to escape from the life of a cube...